A lot of people confuse the meaning of advice.
I probably do, too.
It means something different to everyone. And it comes with a lot of baggage.
So, if you want to be a seller of so-called “advice“, it’s important we explore what it really means.
A common understanding of advice is someone giving another person the answer to their question or problem.
We think of it as if the giver knowing precisely what the receiver ought to do.
But the reality is, most meaningful situations that require advice have no objective answers. The higher the stakes, the more nuances there are to consider.
That’s why advice rarely has the true objectivity we wish it did. It’s contextual. And in many cases, it’s autobiographical.
Giving advice often requires a meeting of the minds
The best advice seeks to include the giver and receiver’s own expertise. This is the mutual context needed to provide relevant and useful advice.
Together, you explore ideas, exceptions, pitfalls, dead ends, cliffs, constraints, patterns, details, and opportunities.
When people hire you for your advice, what they’re really looking for is access to your experience, knowledge, and worldview.
In other words, your expertise.
Three things shape your expertise most
1. The more experience you have in a given domain, the more pattern-matching you can do based on what you’ve encountered. This can help you make better decisions—though not always.
2. Your knowledge comes from things you’ve learned along the way. They could be directly and indirectly related to your area of expertise.
3. Your worldview is your interpretation of the world based on everything you know and have experienced. It’s a mix of taste, subjectivity, and philosophy. It’s usually based on your experience, knowledge, and individual preferences.
Sometimes, there is a clear answer
Occasionally, you can advise people to take one approach and another if it’s clearly better for their particular needs.
But more often, giving advice sounds more like:
- What if you tried…
- Have you ever tried…
- This might not work for you, but…
- I would probably…
- What I do is…
- What I did is…
- I personally wouldn’t do it that way…
- Have you considered…
- What if you did the opposite…
- What if this assumption were true…
- Are you sure it’s true that…
- What if you didn’t…
- I notice this happening…
- I have seen this work for other people…
- I recommend…
- I suggest…
- Let’s break down the problem…
- I’m not sure what to do, but this doesn’t feel like…
- I like this…
- I don’t like this…
- I’m sensing…
- I feel like…
- Only you can decide…
- It’s your choice…
- How would you feel if…
- Why do you think that’s the case?
- Why do you want to do this?
- What’s holding you back?
- Could you explain that idea further?
- What else?
- I’ve learned that…
- Someone once told me…
- Let’s do this…
- Yes…
- No…
- Don’t do that…
- I think you’re onto something…
- Trust your instinct…
- I’m impartial…
- This feels relevant…
- I have no idea…
People aren’t always looking for answers
Sometimes, people want encouragement. Or validation. Or approval. Or confidence. Or an education.
The job-to-be-done of giving advice isn’t always to find the precise right answer.
We’re not purely logical as humans, after all.
Sometimes, the purpose is to explore edge cases, test ideas, and push the bounds of our own thinking—with the help of an outside perspective.
That’s why advice is such a subtle thing. It’s easy to hand out but harder to know precisely what job you’re fulfilling if you’re not conscious about it.
The value and risk of advice
Your experience may save the receiver decades of learning on their own. It might save them from making many of the mistakes you’ve made in the past.
It might provide comfort. Or help mitigate risks. Or notice opportunities they may not be able to see. It takes time to identify and recognize patterns.
Or, it might set people down the wrong path, which may have negative consequences. Which means we must seek to first do no harm.
The final takeaway
When you give advice, the key thing to remember is you’re not telling someone what to do. You’re helping them make the best and most informed decision possible for them.
Sure, you might give someone specific instructions. But even that is really just an assertive suggestion.
Surf with the nuances.
—kw